


knotted arteries and veins

by creabimus



Category: Ava's Demon
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 18:10:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12415287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creabimus/pseuds/creabimus
Summary: Maggie hurls stones through her own reflection in the lake.Gil does not notice. Ava always will.





	knotted arteries and veins

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics from “Daffodil” by Dan Mangan

oh daffodil my petunia  
oh daffodil my rose  
find my two lips in the darkness  
and let yours be my home  
let yours be my home

-

You can see her in your mind’s eye. 

Wrapped in a shroud of fire and embers, now, and dusted with ash and residual screams which echo through your brain. 

Unlike draws towards unlike. Opposites attract. Wood catches fire too easily and bruises so naturally that you shouldn’t be surprised to find your heart splits open newly-closed wounds at the sight of her. Shrouded in fire. A cloaked enigma, as you told Gil. But enigmas do not burn as brightly as she once did. They do not leave an acrid aftertaste that leaves you longing for the spring, for the ocean with which to drown yourself in. 

They were meant to leave a shadow which never returned. 

“How pathetic,” you tell her.

But how much is directed at her, and how much at the furious beating of your chest that isn’t just anger and fear and anxiety. How much before you break? Not even Gil, your ocean-borne savior, could balm such wounds. 

He wouldn’t even offer anymore. 

“Maggie -”

“Shut  _up_.” 

She shrinks and you wish she’d shrunk before she massacred those innocent people. You wish she’d shrunk those years ago, before she opened her mouth and trivialized everything you two had been through. You wish she’d shrink and the furnace in your chest would ignite. But it doesn’t, and the anger ices your blood instead. 

-

“You’ve never kissed anyone before?” You’re laughing before you can stop yourself, and red roses bloom beneath Ava’s cheeks. You lightly squeeze her hand even though you don’t have to, and she immediately squeezes back. 

“Not before you,” she corrects. She ducks her head so you can’t see her expression, but her hand still sweats. 

“That’s stupid,” you declare. “But you don’t want these boys kissing you anyway. They’re so - “

Ava looks up and grins. “Them?” 

You smirk. “Exactly. None of them are refined. But you -” you swoop down and kiss her cheek, “you’re already leagues ahead.” She laughs. Resting your head on her shoulder, you smile, and you imagine next summer when the coreopsis will bloom and the fields will glimmer golden in the sun, and you two’ll hold hands and etch promises into the open air. 

Laughter fills your lungs. When it spills from your parting lips, Ava’s own erupts. 

You can already feel the sun against your back. 

-

You love Gil.

You  _know_  you love him.

He is your savior spat out from a boiling ocean with glimmering cerulean seashells at his feet instead of grass, but he’s never felt the consuming, monstrous fire you’ve been subjected to. Your heart flutters and you think yourself a butterfly whose finally found her perch after migrating for miles. 

When he tells you about Titan, you hum and stir your tea. 

You watch his mouth and soon forget about the words which they shape. Not even the galaxies could tear you apart.

-

You’ve drowned in ichor once, you’ve hung from ivy, you’ve burned yourself on the stars, you’ve scrapped yourself out of the pits and clung to the weeping willow which stood before you. 

Cosmos rip apart behind your ribcage, coiling and burning and starving and swallowing everything in their path, yet the smell of the rain lingers. Smoke which you cannot see clogs your lungs. 

“What the fuck are you doing here? In my mind?  _My_  mind?”  _Mymindmymindmymind it is my mind not your mind there is not an us not even a you_  -

“Maggie, please, I’m sorry -”

You imagine supernovas burn in your eyes when you glare at her, and to your credit Ava does flinch. “You had your chance to apologize,  _Ava_ ,” she lowers her eyes at your sneer, and you allow yourself a smirk, “and you passed that up a while ago.” Dust and decay. Dust and decay and rotting memories.

And coreopsis blooming in the field.

-

You should have let her fall into that gorge.

-

(You never would have been able to do it.)

-

When you kiss her, only a peck because you know she’s embarrassed and you think it’s cute how she blushes even at the slightest of touches, she laces your hands together. 

You pull away and the breeze ruffles your hair. Ava smiles up at you, her cheeks dusted pink, and the world shifts beneath your feet. Your toes wiggle in your shoes. Just to test the ground. 

She kisses you again. 

You feel your entire body glowing, and you wish she could see it for herself.

-

In your dreams, you feel Gil’s lips against your own. 

His hands are warm, like sunned water, on your chin when he lifts it, and when he leans down you stand up on the tips of your toes to meet him. They do not tingle when your lips meet, but there is still time for dawn to break.

His hands steady your waist. You let your body fall against his knowing he will catch you, and the giggle rising in your throat doesn’t see the sun because you’re kissing him again and the air catches fire with the rays of sun -

Ava’s dew-laughter echoes in your ears. 

-

You hate her. 

You hate her.

You hate her.

-

You don’t.

-

You never did.

-

“You’re amazing, Maggie, I never would have figured this out by myself!” Ava gushes. It lifts your heart to see her so happy. “You’re the smartest person I know.” 

Which is true, but the smile still spreads across your lips. You hum. “If you need anymore help I’ve got you,” you assure her. You lace your pinkies together. “Best friends help each other out.” 

“And they don’t break promises,” Ava adds. 

You grin. “Definitely not.”


End file.
